Dino Albani's Card story – Detective Aptitude

[kozvme]

 

Dino: I went to Uncle Jim’s Diner today.

Junior: Oh, you really went!? How was it? Did you meet the manager?

Dino: Yeah, I met him. I've also said my greetings. "Are Pipsqueak and Lover boy doing fine~?", he said ♪

Faith: He's still calling us that? Well, I guess it can't be helped with shrimpy here...

Junior: Hah!? What was that, shitty DJ!?

Dino: N- Now, now... Ah, the menu was as extra-large as you told me!
It had a lot, but I was only able to eat one pizza... Next time I'd like to try the hamburger you recommended, Junior, and the chocolate gateau you recommended, Faith.

Junior: It's been so long, I also wanna eat the hamburgers of that place. Let's go on our way home from patrol some other time.

Dino: I like that, let's tell Keith, too, and go all together ♪

Faith: That reminds me, Dino. You said you'd go with Billy today, didn't you?

Dino: Ah, yes. I did, Jay was also with us.

Junior: The more I listen to this, the weirder this lineup sounds to me.

Faith: I kind of understood it wasn't just a meal, but... be careful not to get caught up in something bothersome, okay?

Dino: Ahahah, thank you for worrying about me, but this time I kind of am the one who offered him a hand?

Faith: Hmm...?

Dino: Roughly speaking, we're kind of pretending to be detectives.

Junior: Pretending to be detectives?

Dino: Rather than a detective, I am more of an assistant who waits on the detective hand and foot, .
And even if I said we're pretending, Billy-kun looks like a real detective. He doesn't call himself informant for nothing...

Faith: He gets carried away when people say things like that, so keep the flattery moderate, okay?

Junior: He does look like the kinda guy who'd say "Million's great detective!"

Dino: Ah, that! He said that, he said that! ♪

Faith: Aha, looks like you were late.

Junior: Still, you're pretending to be detectives, huh...? Sounds like fun.

Faith: Don't tell me you're imagining the kind of detective you see in movies or manga again, shrimpy?

Junior: Wh-!? You got it all wrong...
I'm not imagining that stuff... In the first place, that's all fiction, no?

Faith: You talked like a grown-up...
Ooh, are you hinting at that guy with the appearance of a child and the intellect of a*...?

Junior: Hah? What are you talking about?

Faith: Anyway, Dino, how's it going?
... Can you bring it off all right? 

Dino: Hey, that's rude! You think it's impossible for me, don't you?

Faith: Well... I guess I do?

Junior: I second that. You suck at lying, Dino, and even when it comes to tracking down a criminal you look like the kind of person who'd leave it to their physical strength.

Dino: Gh... It makes me happy that my mentees understand me so well...
Still, well, I guess I am no match for Billy-kun, but I'm also good at gathering information, you know!
If it's a test of strength I won't lose... and I also have a keen nose!
If the pizza smell still lingers on the scene I'm confident I can scent out what kind of pizza... no, which pizzeria is it from!

Faith: You think such a thing will happen...?

Junior: Of course not... How do I put it, you kinda sound like a dog?
A police dog rather than an assistant?

Dino: Woof!?
I s- still help, though~?
I specialize in pizza, but I can more or less discern other smells...
I don't mean to brag about it, but I'm also quite intuitive.

Junior: Is that for real?

Dino: I'm telling the truth! Trust me...
Okay then, I'll show you what the power of my intuition is capable of!

Junior: ? Where did he go?

Faith: ... The kitchen cabinet?

Dino: Since this is based on intuition, it has almost no grounds, but...
Yesterday night Keith was a tiny bit happier than usual, right? If I had to guess...

See!

Junior: Ah, there's more expensive-looking alcohol!

Faith: You're saying he was brimming with joy because he got good alcohol?

Dino: I knew he stockpiled the shelf with alcohol, but that he got good one was totally my guess!
How is it? Do you understand that I can also be a little useful to a detective nowー



Keith: Oi, Dino. You got a second~?

Junior: Ah, it's the person of interest.

Faith: You're right, Keith the sus.

Keith: Ngah, what's with you two...
And...! What are you doing in front of my liquor collection!?

Dino: Oh, don't worry, Keith. We were just looking, we weren't going to do anything.
I just thought I'd show Junior and Faith the power of my intuitionー

Keith: The power of your intuition? The heck's that...
Anyway Dino, forget about that. Care to explain the meaning of this?

Dino: Nh? ... What's up with your phone?

Keith: Look at the screen, the screen...
Jack stopped me earlier to tell me to be at home because tomorrow morning a lot of packages will be arriving.
I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about, but I got a bad feeling so I looked into it...
And so I found out this purchase history.

Dino: Ehh!?

Keith: ... You're the one who requested a massive quantity of air purifiers to be delivered tomorrow morning at Helios Tower, aren't you, Dino?

Dino: Aaaaah, how stupid of me...! Did I forget to write the apartment number?

Keith: You should tell that to Jack, not me...
Nevermind that! Are you planning to have this stupid amount of air purifiers delivered all here!?

Dino: Uhmm... I hadn't thought that far~?
It's just... It was written that you can get a discount if you buy in bulk, so...

Keith: You...

Dino: If I l- look around, I'm sure there'll be people who'd like one! And the Tower has many rooms!
Ah, how about the rookies' room!? It's better to have it than to not, right? Besides, this air purifier is amazing, you knowー

Faith: Our room doesn't need one. I asked for a high-performance air purifier w, so...

Dino: I s- see~. I'll go round asking the other teams, then~...

Keith: No need to. Cancel the order immediately.

Dino: Eeeeh!!!??

Keith: That's why I'm asking you now. It would be a pain in the ass to return them after they get here...
Geez... That's what happens when I don't keep an eye on you.

Dino: D- Don't say that! I got a great deal on this, so... please turn a blind eye this time, Keith!

Keith: As if I'm gonna do that! Give it up!

Junior: ... That's kinda unexpected; is Keith better suited for a detective?

Faith: Could be... Still, what are our mentors even doing?


_________________________

Notes:
*Yes, Faith was talking about Detective Conan here.