Asch Albright's Card story – The Shape of a Family

[kozvme]

 

Billy: THIS IS BA~~~~~D! BAD, BAD, BAD, BAAAAAAD I SAY!

Jay: What's wrong, Billy? You're quite lively this morning.

Billy: I can't find the toothbrush I was keeping in stock~! I'm pretty sure I had one more, but when I looked earlier, it was gone...

Asch: Toothbrush? ... Aah, that? I used it.

Billy: WHY!?

Asch: Huh? I used it because I wanted to, duh.

Billy: What's that supposed to mean~! Didn't they teach you at the Academy not to touch people's stuff without their permission!?

Asch: Pretty sure they also told ya to put your name on the things you don't want stolen. That's totally on you.

Billy: !! I can't believe you're saying this after blowing up at me for using your deodorant!
You didn't even listen to me, when I told you there was no name on it~~~!

Asch: Well, duh. If you used my stuff without permission, of course I'd flip.

Billy: Seriously, I don't get it! This makes ZERO sense~!

Gray: Calm down, Billy-kun... There is no use in trying to make it make sense...

Billy: Uuuhhh, Gray......

Jay: Hmm. Although we've been living together for quite some time, the arguments never end.
Let's put aside the personal belongings issue for now.. Everyone came just at the right moment; how about we all go shopping together?
I was thinking about buying new aquarium supplies.

Billy: Waah, I wanna go! Cleaning supplies are among the things I want to buy besides toothbrushes!

Gray: M- Me, too... The number of things I own has increased again, so I'd like to buy some storage containers...

Jay: Alright, sounds like we have a plan. Let's stop by the food court once everyone has bought what they need to eat something before we head home.  ♪ 

Gray: The food court...! On my days off, my family and I would often go there... How nostalgic...

Asch: Hmpf, plebs.

Gray: H...

Jay: Stop badmouthing people, Asch. You're coming with us, aren't you? You said you wanted to check out the fried chicken they sell there, right?

Asch: Kh, why do you remember that...

Billy: Hey, hey, are we going to the shopping centre by car? Then Asch-paisen should drive ♪ 

Asch: Haah? You wanna use me to chauffeur you around?



Billy: NO, NO! You like driving, right? I was thinking how nice it'd be to see you drive onceー

Asch: No way in hell. I love bikes, not driving.
Besides, 's no way I'd give y'all a ride.

Billy: No wayyy~...

Jay: Ahahah. That's too bad, but this time we'll make do with just you coming with us.

Asch: ......!

Jay: I'll be the one driving. Shall I request a car from the organization? Maybe a minivan so that we won't have problems even if we end up buying a lot.

Billy: Yaaa~y! Thanks, pops~~~♪

Jay: Hm? Pops?

Billy: Ah-
Hehehe, sowwy, sowwy. Just a slip of the tongue ♡

Jay: Do you see me as a father, Billy?

Billy: Uuuh, I had hoped you'd let it go...
You do act like one to me, I guess? Lately, this team is starting to look more like a family, so...
Jay's the dad, Asch-paisen and Gray are the big brothers and I guess... I'm the youngest son? 

Gray: Me? Your older brother...?

Billy: Yup, yup! There's a lot of you that screams big brother.
Besides, aren't you a real big brother? You have a younger brother and sister... That has become increasingly apparent to me lately~
Jay is also a real dad, so it's only natural that he looks like one.

Don't worry, it's not because you look old ♡

Jay: Ahahah. It's alright, I don't mind. Actually, the fact that you think of me that wayー

Asch: Tch, don't go lose yourselves in some friggin' delusions.

Jay: Asch, you're still...

Billy: Sorry, sorry! You're actually not a big brother, right!

Jay: Ooh, right. Asch isn't an older brother, but a younger one. The youngest of 3 siblings, huh...

Billy: I'm an only-child, so maybe Asch-paisen would fit better into the role of the youngest?

Asch: You little... Are you seriously tryin' to pick a fight...?

Billy: H- How did we get there~!? I'm not saying it has to be that way just because you're the youngest~!

Jay: Say, Asch. Can I ask how you get along with your older brother and older sister?

Asch: Hah?

Jay: I'm simply curious about how you act in front of your siblings... that's all ♪

Asch: ... Quit it, that's sick. What do you plan on doing after hearing that?

Billy: He's simply just curious~! I know how you feel reaaaaal well, Jay ♪
Come on, come on, how is it? Does your big bro also pick you up and drop you off or stuff like that~?

Asch: Hah? You wanna know if he chauffeur me, basically?

Billy: Isn't that what brothers do?! Gray said he picks his sibs up and drops them off, too. Right, Gray? ♪

Gray: Ah... Yes. But I was also always at home, though...

Asch: ... Hmpf. We have our own chauffeur at home, so he seldom drives.

Billy: R- Right... I tend to forget you're a young master.

Asch: But, well... it did happen a few times.
The car that used to come pick me up in my Academy days was so dull that I paid the chauffeur to go home and on a certain day, he came to pick me up...

Truly a pain in the ass...

BIlly: Huhuh~ I see~~~

Asch: ...... What. What are you grinnin' about?

Billy: Nothing~. I'm a bit touched by this lil' bro attitude of yours, Asch-paisen ♡

Asch: You...
Hmpf, to hell with that. Talking to people who are fixed on youngest this or oldest that is just ridiculous.

Billy: I g- guess you're right, but~

Jay: Well, I agree with what Asch's said. There are many types of families, not just those based on relatives or siblings...
Gray and Asch actually have the same number of siblings, but when I learned that I was shocked.

Asch & Gray: ......!

Billy: You're right! Now that you mention it, it's true!

Jay: Generally speaking, the youngest gets spoiled the most, but Asch's not like that at all, no?

Asch: ...... Haaah?

Jay: You should let others spoil you more, Asch.

Asch: Kh! Who should spoil who!? Don't make me throw up!

Billy: Pft...

Jay: Still, I'm happy you think... our team is like a family, Billy.

Billy: .....!

Jay: I think of you as my children, too. And besides, there's nothing wrong with calling the people you live with family.
We should shape our family as we want it to be.

Asch: Tch... Don't go spout such nonsense. You're giving me the goosebumps.

Jay: Haha... Ah, looks like I've got the okay to use the car.
We'll leave in 5 minutes, so go get ready!

Billy: Yoo‐hoo~~~~~! ♪

Gray: The 5 minutes are flying by... I need to hurry...

Asch: ......
...... Tch, how annoyin'.